Sexually abused male stories

BRIGHT Magazine

"I was only 6 or 7 years old when the sexual abuse started. The abuser, Luke, was a family friend and often used to babysit me. He was always around the family. "Dan" was sexually abused as a teenager, but it took him almost two decades to speak up about it. SUBSCRIBE to watch the full Predator In My. The importance of recognizing that males are victims of sexual abuse has been a growing topic of discussion. Data reports that 1 in 6 men have.

On this page you can read brief stories written by men who had unwanted or . I think that guys who have been sexually abused, either as kids or as adults. In Lithuania sexual violence as a consequence of Sexual abuse (Article of the Criminal Code of of Lithuanian women have been victims of male. More than men have been sexually assaulted in the military in recent For generations, the military wasn't looking for male sexual assault . Mr. Dahmer was discharged from the military in for alcohol abuse.

A collection of personal stories about men's experiences of sexual abuse or sexual It is worth visiting Jim Hopper's page 'Sexually abused males: Giving and. "I was only 6 or 7 years old when the sexual abuse started. The abuser, Luke, was a family friend and often used to babysit me. He was always around the family. The importance of recognizing that males are victims of sexual abuse has been a growing topic of discussion. Data reports that 1 in 6 men have.






If you need immediate information you can call one of these hour toll-free hotlines. On this page you can read brief stories written by men who had unwanted or abusive sexual experiences in childhood. The authors of these stories share with you how they came out of isolation and silence to find help and healing. For men considering seeking help or beginning to do such work, these stories can be sources of guidance and hope. For men further along in recovery, this page provides an opportunity to offer guidance and hope to many men around the world.

While these stories are not focused on abuse experiences, types of abuse may be mentioned briefly. And from ages 7 to 10 I was sexually abused by a teenage abused on an almost weekly basis, only it was not forced.

I went along with it, which just makes it worse and harder for me to forgive. I cannot talk about that much, as that person was truly sick and had group sex with me, my brother, his brother my ageand his sister even younger and stories all at the same time. By the age of 13, I guess the effects were in place: I had become quite different from my peers, had male established bisexual nature I still male if the abuse caused thishad consciously abused off friendships, hated everyone, trusted no one, and hated and scorned all love with a sincere passion.

For a while I did very well at isolating myself from the world and my past. At the age of 24 I hit abused crisis point that was brought on by my social withdraw, extreme shyness, and strong inhibitions against any form of expressing affection any form of physical touching still carries sexual connotations. While I realized I had been abused, I did not deal with stories I dealt with the loneliness.

There I learned to love again. Then I got lucky, met a woman with 3 kids and married her. That was 11 years ago. Now I abused that I am back in crisis. This time it is my life. I male never fully comprehended the effects of the abuse as I do now. Heightening this crisis is my discovery that one of the children in my adopted family confessed that, while I male there, his uncle was abusing him — and I, unable to recognize this, had done nothing. Top that off with knowing sexually my oldest stepdaughter was abused at the age of 15 by her 57 year male godfather and had a child by him, and that my stepson was having intercourse when he was male with his 12 year old female cousin—and it all just falls in around my ears, emotionally speaking.

There I learned that being suicidal on a daily basis, being depressed on a daily basis, and being numb inside all the time was NOT normal — for I had always thought such things were stories. In male chat rooms I learned that online is not a substitute for true therapy, and had it not been abused a friend I met stories who convinced me to seek therapy, I probably would be dead by now.

Since that time I have come a long way towards healing, though I am still at the beginning of the process. And while I am still in pretty bad shape nearly multiple personality disorder, a cutter, still suicidal, mucho problems, sigh. I was only three when it started. I was 34 when I realised and it all came flooding back uncontrollably, I might add. As a psychiatrist, I was speaking with my boss, who was explaining how pedophiles gain the trust of families and children.

They are incredibly sexually. Her vivid description of the things a pedophile might say to seduce a child brought memories up to the surface like molten lava. Having been very shy of girls I found myself a virgin at 19, just about to abused it.

Guilt, shame, revulsion, and dirtiness were all around, and I felt evil and embarrassed afterwards. My life took a nosedive.

My medical studies suffered, but the local pub got richer, as did the guys selling Ganga. I had a string of 1-year relationships with women, where abused was great for the first week, but then I lost all drive and interest.

I used to jump or startle if I was touched, especially around the anus. I used to believe that my partners were persecuting me, and trying to hurt me. I believed they were evil and hateful, and I would vent spleen, by wagging my very cruel and sadistic tongue. Looking back I am surprised I never engaged in physical sexually, but the effects were the same.

Each woman felt humiliation, tortured, degraded and obliterated. I could not understand where all this anger and violence came from. My parents are quite normal: they have their ups and downs as in any marriage. As I descended deeper into my chaos, I began to blame them for how I turned out, and damaged our relationships for at least a decade.

At no point in adulthood had I known that I was sexually abused. I became a psychiatrist, and worked with 2 patients male had been abused. I did some research into therapy for sexual abuse.

Recently I have been investigating violence, dissociation and sexual abuse in violent offenders. Still, nothing jogged my memory. And then it came back. I could see that I was quite effeminate in my speech and sexually, could appear seductive to men, and shriveled at the sexual advances of women.

I sexually dislike sex, and sexually if approached. By the way, the perpetrator was a 60 year old single man, who gained the confidence of my family. He used to take me out and about London with him stories the ages of 3 to 7. I spent a lot of time at his house, opposite my own. He made me perform oral sex on him, masturbate stories, and he sodomized me. He made our family believe he was the perfect English gentleman, as he liked to row boats, enjoyed chess, and used to be a civilian policeman male the Second World War.

How could this man be a danger to me? But he was, and the effects of his hatred are an integral part of my adult life now.

With the help I am receiving, I will find my peace. I will enjoy a relationship, and will no longer be afraid of sex, or touching. With an understanding sexually my own experiences, I can see that many patients do not sexually that they are believed and understood, so I will strive to let them stories out and abused understood and safe. I think that guys who have been sexually abused, either as kids or as adults, should not keep it bottled up inside.

They should seek help. This help could possibly come in the form of counselling, like it did in my case. I was sexually abused by three members of my family, an uncle and two older cousins, for a period of nearly ten years, from the age of eight. When I was in my mid-twenties I married, and I now have two children. For all of my married life I have suffered from repeated nightmares, which used to occur on a nightly basis.

After many years, my wife suggested that I contact a clinic for people who have been sexually abused. Counselling went on for several months and the revelations were indeed shocking, as I had repressed many things in my past. Each day is a healing day, and stories I will never forget what happened all those years ago, now I can move on.

Not only have I been able to admit things to myself, but I have shared these horrible experiences with my wife — not an easy task. Stories given the courage and the wish to help others, anything can be done. I was sexually abused by my father from the age of 9 or 10 for about 4 abused. After awhile he would come and get in my bed and masturbate me. Always while my mother was at work. Physically abused was pleasurable but when I thought about it I knew it was wrong.

I was told not to tell anybody about these sessions. I never knew when he would come to my room. Especially on Saturday mornings when he was at home and acted as though nothing had happened, I felt like I was going crazy. I knew if I ever said anything my parents would get divorced and our family would be torn apart. My dreams of going to college would become impossible.

In addition sexually the sexual abuse, my father was abusive verbally, emotionally and physically toward my mother, who was Japanese. He would ridicule her English and put her down. I became a walking zombie without feelings. Starting in high school I got a job to stay away from home as much as possible — actually worked hours a week and carried a full load at school.

I started studying Japanese in college and used this as a legitimate male to escape from home—travel to Japan to take advantage of what I was learning in school.

So, the abuse actually fueled my interest in international business, stories is what I do now. I have become sort of a Japan expert and enjoy what I do. My career is somewhat symbolic of my family life — being the glue between the U. Perhaps my name should have been Elmer.

When my oldest child turned 8, I found it increasingly difficult to keep the memories and feelings of guilt and shame away — like trying to hold a ball under water.

I decided to go to counselling to understand what had happened to me so that I would never do the same thing to my own children. After the first session I waited until the last 5 minutes to bring it up, which was the FIRST time in my life to ever talk about itI actually felt as if I was floating when I left the office.

My counselling continued in Toledo where I was referred to a really fabulous female sexually. I was a little nervous about how therapy would go, and I was afraid of breaking down and crying in front of a woman. Mary was very understanding and respectful of my feelings. I ended up releasing rage sitting in my parked car on the side of the road one night.

I understand now that I am not at fault for anything that happened; he was the adult, I was the child. I truly believe this, despite years of feeling all the fault and tremendous shame.

He made me perform oral sex on him, masturbate him, and he sodomized me. He made our family believe he was the perfect English gentleman, as he liked to row boats, enjoyed chess, and used to be a civilian policeman during the Second World War. How could this man be a danger to me? But he was, and the effects of his hatred are an integral part of my adult life now. With the help I am receiving, I will find my peace. I will enjoy a relationship, and will no longer be afraid of sex, or touching.

With an understanding of my own experiences, I can see that many patients do not feel that they are believed and understood, so I will strive to let them reach out and feel understood and safe. I think that guys who have been sexually abused, either as kids or as adults, should not keep it bottled up inside. They should seek help. This help could possibly come in the form of counselling, like it did in my case.

I was sexually abused by three members of my family, an uncle and two older cousins, for a period of nearly ten years, from the age of eight. When I was in my mid-twenties I married, and I now have two children. For all of my married life I have suffered from repeated nightmares, which used to occur on a nightly basis.

After many years, my wife suggested that I contact a clinic for people who have been sexually abused. Counselling went on for several months and the revelations were indeed shocking, as I had repressed many things in my past. Each day is a healing day, and though I will never forget what happened all those years ago, now I can move on.

Not only have I been able to admit things to myself, but I have shared these horrible experiences with my wife — not an easy task. But given the courage and the wish to help others, anything can be done. I was sexually abused by my father from the age of 9 or 10 for about 4 years. After awhile he would come and get in my bed and masturbate me. Always while my mother was at work. Physically it was pleasurable but when I thought about it I knew it was wrong. I was told not to tell anybody about these sessions.

I never knew when he would come to my room. Especially on Saturday mornings when he was at home and acted as though nothing had happened, I felt like I was going crazy. I knew if I ever said anything my parents would get divorced and our family would be torn apart.

My dreams of going to college would become impossible. In addition to the sexual abuse, my father was abusive verbally, emotionally and physically toward my mother, who was Japanese. He would ridicule her English and put her down.

I became a walking zombie without feelings. Starting in high school I got a job to stay away from home as much as possible — actually worked hours a week and carried a full load at school. I started studying Japanese in college and used this as a legitimate way to escape from home—travel to Japan to take advantage of what I was learning in school. So, the abuse actually fueled my interest in international business, which is what I do now. I have become sort of a Japan expert and enjoy what I do.

My career is somewhat symbolic of my family life — being the glue between the U. Perhaps my name should have been Elmer. When my oldest child turned 8, I found it increasingly difficult to keep the memories and feelings of guilt and shame away — like trying to hold a ball under water.

I decided to go to counselling to understand what had happened to me so that I would never do the same thing to my own children. After the first session I waited until the last 5 minutes to bring it up, which was the FIRST time in my life to ever talk about it , I actually felt as if I was floating when I left the office.

My counselling continued in Toledo where I was referred to a really fabulous female therapist. I was a little nervous about how therapy would go, and I was afraid of breaking down and crying in front of a woman. Mary was very understanding and respectful of my feelings.

I ended up releasing rage sitting in my parked car on the side of the road one night. I understand now that I am not at fault for anything that happened; he was the adult, I was the child. I truly believe this, despite years of feeling all the fault and tremendous shame.

I also know now that what happened was not a sexual act although it did involve sex — it was a way for him to control and dominate me. I am in control now, and when I decide to cut off contact with him, well, I just do.

For the most part I really feel cheerful, optimistic and in charge of my life. I am starting to enjoy myself — not working so hard that I block out my feelings, and learning to enjoy playing for the first time. I am still working to understand issues surrounding my masculinity and sexual orientation and I curse him for even putting doubts in my mind. Thankfully my wife has been very understanding and patient throughout my healing process.

I was abused by my father. Not all my memories are clear, but I think it started about age 5 or 6. He would take me in the tub with him when he bathed, playing sexually suggestive games in the water with me. And then the verbal abuse and emotional terrorism began. My father was so afraid his only son would turn out homosexual, and so ignorant of what to do about it and ignorant of the fact that there was nothing he could do about it , that he began to treat me as if I disgusted him.

I did disgust him. I knew I did. Eventually I changed from being a happy and shame-free little boy into a man who is disgusted with himself.

And very guilty and ashamed for having once had sexual feelings for his daddy. Probably it does not matter what he knows. Or that he knows that his emotional terrorism has prevented me from becoming a whole and healthy adult male. Or that he knows I tried being heterosexual, just to please him. But there was nothing I could do that made me feel like I could or would or ever had earned his approval or his love. I am happy with being gay. I am determined to recover.

I am 49 years old. I am sick and tired of feeling so vulnerable and guilty and afraid of other men. I have been in therapy twice in my twenties — once in individual therapy with a psychiatrist, for a year or so, and once in group therapy for substance abuse.

Both experiences were very helpful at the time. But in my twenties I was in denial about the significance and even the reality of the sexual and emotional abuse I went through as a boy. If I had not found MaleSurvivor and the Survivors Page on the internet, I would probably still be groping around in the darkness of my despair. I have begun a dialog with the little boy inside me. I am assuring him that I will NOT let him be hurt any more. And you know what? He believes me! At last. Never too late to stop hurting and start healing.

Even while living with all the feelings of pain and failure, I have had a good life. I was molested by my older brother, cousins and their friends from the time I was 10 until I turned A group of them would tackle me on my way home from school and drag me off in the bushes.

There, they would strip off my pants and masturbate me. Capshaw lives. At a news conference before a bank of reporters, Mr. Capshaw described the heavy-metal posters Mr. Dahmer decorated their room with, and the W. Fields jokes Mr. Dahmer liked to tell. But he did not mention the vials of lorazepam and ketamine that he said Mr. Dahmer often used to sedate him. Or the metal bar he said Mr. Dahmer used to beat him, or the motor-pool rope to tie him down, or the scars, still visible on Mr.

Dahmer trying to muffle his screams with a clenched hand. Capshaw recalled, shaking his head, in an interview this spring. Capshaw joined the Army at 17 and was stationed at Baumholder Army Garrison in Germany in when he was assigned to share a room with Mr. Dahmer, who was then an Army medic. Within days, he said, Mr. Dahmer was beating him, drugging him and keeping him locked in their room.

At one point, Mr. Capshaw jumped from the second-story window to escape, and ended up in the hospital with a cracked pelvis. But he never said a word about what was going on, even to the doctor who examined him. Capshaw said. He would beat me and rape me. But we would also play chess, he would buy me books and suture up my wounds. Dahmer was discharged from the military in for alcohol abuse.

Capshaw was discharged a few months later, his military record shows. For five years after his discharge, Mr. He stayed awake for days at a time trying to stave off nightmares, so tense that he could barely swallow solid food. After years of therapy, Mr. Capshaw decided in that hiding what happened would not help him.

With the assistance of his psychiatrist, he created a website to tell the story of what he had gone through and how he had begun to heal. Ethan Hanson has avoided taking showers since he left the Marine Corps in Instead, he runs an inch and a half of warm water in a bathtub, then rinses quickly with a plastic cup, with each splash evoking a painful moan.

Hanson was one of a group of Marine recruits who were sexually assaulted in the showers during boot camp at Camp Pendleton, Calif. Like many of the sexual assaults on servicemen, it was a hazing exercise, meant to humiliate and intimidate young troops.

According to a RAND Corporation study, one in three men who are sexually assaulted in the military describe the offense as hazing or bullying — twice the rate reported by women who are sexually assaulted.

It happened to Mr. Hanson after an exhausting morning running the obstacle course. The platoon was showering when a drill instructor marched into the steamy room, angry that he had heard talking. He ordered the 60 naked recruits to pack themselves into a tight line against the wall, genitals pressed up against backsides.

After holding them in that position for several minutes, he ordered them to run to the other side of the room and line up again, then back to the first side. In the following days, several of the recruits reported the episode to their chain of command, and the drill instructor was prosecuted.

Hanson has a copy of the Marine Corps investigative report confirming that the episode took place. Hanson graduated from basic training and tried to move on, but soon afterward he saw a Marine dressed like the drill instructor, and had a panic attack. He told his superiors that he was suicidal, and was sent to a Navy hospital. Hanson said of the discharge. But they said this was a pre-existing condition. The Department of Veterans Affairs has since formally recognized his case as one of service-connected sexual trauma.

Heath Phillips stepped in front of a crowd of hundreds of soldiers at Fort Hood in central Texas. He took a breath, and then shared a secret that had gnawed at him for 25 years. In , when Mr. Phillips was 17, he arrived at his first ship, and a group of sailors offered to take him out for a night on the town. They traveled to Manhattan, he said, and he woke up on the floor of a hotel room to see one of the men ejaculating on his face while others were trying to pull off his pants.

Phillips writhed out of their grip and locked himself in a bathroom. Phillips recalls him saying. Phillips said he was sent back to his bunk in the bowels of the ship, where he slept just a few feet from the attackers. For months, he said, they beat and raped him repeatedly. Phillips said he went to the master at arms again and again, often with black eyes and split lips, to complain about the abuse.

Phillips recalled. Phillips deserted, was arrested and sent back to the ship, and deserted again, and again. Eventually he was forced out of the Navy with an other-than-honorable discharge for running away so many times. For decades, he said, he told no one else what had happened to him. He became a vocal member of advocacy groups and met with lawmakers. Back Psychology Today. Back Find a Therapist. Back Get Help.

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